I don't know about you, but I cannot believe how fast Friday came this week. Especially since it was a full week back at work from my 5-day weekend I had last week. But here we are! I am looking forward to this weekend for a few reasons. The first reason being having plans to go bike riding with Mike this evening. He recently got us locks for our bikes so we could ride to the mini-golf course and other places without worrying about leaving our bikes behind. So this evening we're going mini-golfing. No need to worry about that extra slice of pizza I had for lunch today. I'm sure I'll be working it off tonight, no problem!

Tomorrow my sisters come home from their week stay at my brother, SIL and nephew's house in Connecticut. We are going to the county fair tomorrow evening. I'm not sure if Mike will be joining us. He has a noon tee time with my neighbor for a golf outting my neighbor organized. I'm looking forward to hanging out with my sisters. They are over and done with the whole situation with my brother, too, so now it's time for me to step up even more and be a big sister because they are angry and upset over what a disappointment their brother has become. So I'll do some cheering up and Mike's been like a big brother to them so I'm sure he'll be his usual clown and get them in good spirits. As for the rest of the weekend, I'm not quite sure what's going on.

I had a good talk with my mom last night when we went out to shop Target together (always a dangerous place). I think my whole family has come to the conclusion that TJ needs a heavy dose of tough love. We're backing our father on this one and if TJ wants to be on his own, so be it. He can be one of them now. We're all done with the situation. Our hands are washed. I honestly pray for the day he and his girlfriend break up. I want to see what happens when he has no place to go and comes crying back home. What will happen then? It was good to get everything off of my chest to my mother. We also did some good damage at Target! I didn't make it passed the dollar bins without spending some money. I got a coupon organizer and two pair of knee socks. My main reason for going to Target was to find a backpack to hold my things when we go bike riding. I found a pink, black and gray sling backpack. Not too big, not too small. Just right. I also ended up buying myself a cute purple and black plaid top. I love this plaid trend! I'm looking forward to cozying up in some flannels this fall. Mike better beware of missing flannels in his closet. Haha!

In any case, I have an epic purchase order to create and it's 3:00. Two hours to go until the weekend begins!

When a person dies, you tend to leave their pictures up and want to hold their memories close. When a person betrays you, you take their pictures down and dispose of whatever memories you have shared. When I had enough of my brother shutting out my father, my family, I decided to shut him out. His girlfriend got in the middle of a conversation I had with my sister (via Facebook) and she apparently ran to my brother after we bad-mouthed him and my brother defended his girlfriend over his family. After a few rounds of fighting with the both of them, I told him to have a nice life and ended it. I can't go on day after day wondering how to help a resolution develop between him and my father when there is no effort being made. My brother (and the shemantis) feels my father hasn't made any effort to make peace. What isn't being realized is the fact that for years my father has tried over and over to have some sort of bond with my brother and he just pushed him away for friends. I've taken his picture down from my wall, the one of me and him from his academy graduation. Mike has been more of a son to my father than my own brother has in the few short years they've known each other. If this is the life he wants, then he's not going to have me in it. I didn't want it to come to this, especially since I told him you don't cut blood from your life, but lately it doesn't even feel like he's family. He's one of them, his girlfriend's family. Not mine.

I met my brother at the house during my lunch break yesterday. I admit I was foolish to believe he'd be coming on his own. But I couldn't help but feel disappointed when his girlfriend walked in with him. There went any plan of talking to him on his own about the silence between him and my father. Instead of a productive meet, it was awkward. My brother bought me two pairs of police pants, what I begged him for when he was going through auxiliary academy. One pair has a blue stripe and the other has a yellow stripe. Also in the bag was a gift card to Dunkin Donuts from his girlfriend. It was her birthday a couple days ago so I felt like a bit of a jackass not having even a card for her. I appreciate the gesture, but I'm not running out to get her a gift anytime soon. I packed a lunch while I was there and swiftly went on my way back to work with time to spare. I sat in the office parking lot and called my mother and told her about meeting up with TJ and his girlfriend. I told her how awkward it felt because I couldn't talk to him because she's always there. She was like that before and even more so now that she isn't working or going to school. She's even gone to his job to hang out with him. If she jeopardizes his career as a cop, I'm going to have to put the hurt on her. I just find clinginess in a relationship so unhealthy. I've ended relationships and friendships because of that.

That meeting with my brother caused me to be bummed for the rest of the day. I am so over him being an "us" and I am so over him giving my father the silent treatment and blaming him for everything that's gone bad in his life. I am so over the tension and the avoidance. I kind of feel if his girlfriend wasn't in the picture, none of this would have happened because he wouldn't have had his easy out.

I'm also irritable because I come home to a sauna. My bedroom is so hot and humid, and I am counting down the days until fall--47 to be exact. I am sick of golf season. I know Mike enjoys chasing a ball around for miles and miles, but I feel like I hardly see him when it's golf season (a partial reason I'm counting down the days until fall). I understand that if something comes up he doesn't want to back out of his golf plans because it does cost some money to get a tee time, but sometimes I just feel so disappointed and instead of getting into some wicked fight I just back down and say "ok, go."

I've probably consumed way more sugar and fat than I should have the past few days and I haven't worked out because I'm far too hot, so my body is in a real funk right now. I plan on going home tonight and tossing leftover birthday cake and other tempting junk. Consider also the fact that last week I was told that some of my teeth are in bad shape. I am stocked up on dental care items and have begun to carry floss in my purse. I won't even get into my financial upsets, although I did buy myself a hoodie from Victoria's Secret to try and cheer myself up--didn't really help. I need to get myself back on track both physically and mentally. I used to be so organized. I feel like I've lost control over certain things.

I'm ready to pick up the pieces.

The wonderful, talented meganleewelch has made a post about a contest she's running. You can win one of her photo prints. You can check out some of her work at her Etsy shop. Meg was nice enough to make me a custom button bracelet a year or two ago using buttons I found in my grandmother's sewing box after she passed away. Later I purchased her Bird of Paradise print (pictured above). If you'd like to check out the giveaway yourself, rules are posted at her journal.

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